| Jun. 27th, 2001 @ 08:19 pm Off Topic - Not a Soapy Post |
|---|
A number of people have written to me asking about my family, specifically, the sisters. If you are only interested in soap gossip, skip over this post.
I have six sisters, all older than I am. They range in age from 55 on down to Rosie (Rosemary) who is a year and a half older than I am (I turn 43 on July 5th). The oldest is Marjoram, who we call Marji. She is married to a guy named Sal (We still don't know what 'Sal' is short for, if anything. We know he didn't used to be a woman named Sally and had a *freaking* fit when I suggested it and Marj assured us that if he was, the surgeon did a flawless job of fixing him up, so who cares?) and they have been together for almost 25 years. Sal is Italian and was a chef in New York for many years, so we tap him to cook at least a couple of times when he's visiting. He's a really good guy and isn't into mafia jokes either. In fact, I'm not really sure Sally has a sense of humor at all. He talks like Sylvester Stallone but looks like Danny Aiello, which is a hoot. Marji and Sally don't have children of their own because of some Agent Orange issue from when Sally was drafted into the Vietnam War. They adopted a little girl named Anne in the early 70's and she's grown now and in college. Sally isn't able to work any more because he's had a recurring cancer and keeps having to have surgeries for it. He's been clear for almost seven years now, so we're hopeful. I guess his family was well to do and Sal is good with investments, so they have a really good life. They live on the East Coast, so we don't get to see them often. I don't think Anne is coming out with them, which is too bad because she's a really neat person.
Cammie (Cammie Myle), is the Earth Mother personified. She went to college, got a degree in LAW for heavens sake and was just getting ready to take her bar exam (which didn't surprise any of us because she was always Miss Argument when she was growing up) when she met Frank who was prosecuting a case she that she sat in on as a paralegal. It was love at first sight. They got married when she was almost thirty and she produced a hoard of little kidlets, four to be exact and moved onto a farm (well, not really a farm?there are no crops and only pets for animals, some chickens, a couple of horses, dogs, cats and such) in Texas. When she was about 6 months pregnant with Aaron, child #1, she gave up the legal field completely and started feathering her nest, which she is still feathering. Aaron (the only boy) is now 20 and has a little girl whose mother died not long after she was born, so now Cammie has a new baby that she basically has adopted because Aaron is working all of the time. She's happy with a little one to cuddle again because her youngest daughter is 8. She also has girls who are 10, 15 and 18. The 18-year-old is pregnant (yikes!) and going to delivery in a couple of months, so Cammie is going to be a double grammy. (ha! A Cammie Grammy!)
Lynn is the one pulling the party together and she is Miss Martha Stewart clone. She's the one I mentioned in the post below. Lynn is 51, married to Dale who is a bigoted, homophobic, small-minded, steroid-sucking ASS (yes YOU, Dale, I'm talkin' to YOU) and has two really, really great kids who are 12 and 15. She lives in Boise in a perfect house with a perfect fence and a mailbox that looks like a little barn (awww). She's very Better Homes and Gardens and is also a wonderful cook. If there is anything I need to know how to do, I call Lynn and she can tell me how to do it.
Next is Ginger, who got the right name. We were terrible to her during the Ginger Grant years of Gilligan's Island and it really fit, because she was such a narcissistic bee-yotch back then. Our big house has only one bathroom, unfortunately, and Ginger was always in it. I was lucky to be a little boy who could go out and water the grass in the woods. The other girls had to wait and just beat on the door. She got married at 26 (all of the girls got married and/or left home later than the average kid. Mom's a tough chick to be away from. She was/is a really great mom and we all were and are very close), divorced at 26 and a half and has never looked back. She's the only one of the girls who has no children at all. She's a public relations and event planning person for a resort and loves it. She gets to plan out all kinds of fun things for rich people to do (which also she gets to do herself), has her condo WITH utilities thrown in by the resort as a perk and makes gobs of money. She got her head out of her butt (the better to see her oh so beautiful insides *sigh* - hag!) about ten years ago and has been fun to be around since then. She must've had some great visit from the ghosts of Snotty Past, Present and Future or something because she went through this three-month fugue where she tracked us all down, apologized for being such a twit and begged our forgiveness. I mean, what are you going to do when that happens but give her a hug and let her buy you dinner? She's aged really well, but she smokes and that freaks out mom, who asked of all of us that we never smoke. She has to leave the property to do it and comes back all stinky and ashtray reeking, but we still love her. She has been seeing a guy named Bender (we don't know if that's his first or last name) for almost a year now, but none of us have met him. She found him through work and has been freakishly vague about him, but is bringing him when they come (or so I heard Lynn tell mom). I shall have to work hard to keep from chewing off the inside of my mouth in an effort to not make ("Bender over") jokes. I mean, she's my SISTER, for crying out loud. Ginger is something like 49 and looks like she's 25 because she dated a plastic surgeon for a long, long time (before she found out she was not the only one getting nips and tucks for free).
Kye (that's long "I", her name is actually Kye Anne) is the real adventure seeker in our family. She is 47 and just got married about 6 years ago. She never dated that we knew of and never seemed into anything except her shop. She had a degree in Business Admin and didn't know what to do about it, so Mom helped her start a florist shop here in town. She has a real knack for flower arrangement and such. She does very well with the shop and never seemed to do anything else. She can tell you more about flowers than any human should ever know and permanently, terminally smells like eucalyptus and roses (which is a really good thing, actually, but we tease her about being a walking funeral - snick). She has been at the shop for almost 25 years now. THEN, out of NOWHERE, five years ago she ups and tells us that she's getting married. (adoing!) We all thought she'd forever be the old maid aunt (now that job falls to me, it seems *sigh*) who would have 15 cats and a fat ass her whole life (she was a very formidably big woman - I left off the fat ass part of the deal when the baton was passed to me). She DID get married, within DAYS of telling us that, to a guy who came into her shop, ordered four dozen roses and then handed them to her and told her she had the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. This guy is a DREAM, folks. He looks like a cross between Jasper Jax and Brad Pitt and is about 10 years younger than she is. We thought he might be after her for her money, but it turns out that he invented some little doo-hickey that they use in the landing gear for Boeing airplanes and he's a mega-rich guy from it. He has a degree in Aircraft Engineering and a golden touch with a slide rule (from what Ki tells us, ahem). Anyway, once they got married, for the first time in YEARS, the shop started closing two days a week and soon after the closed sign was going up, Ki's weight was going down. She's not telling us if it's Jenny Craig or Slim Fast or WHAT, but she did tell us that her total weight loss so far is 185 pounds and she is a KNOCK OUT! She went from the little girl who hid twinkies under her bed and ate all the chocolate covered cherries at Christmas to the best looking of all of us and that is despite TWO pregnancies in the interim! We couldn't believe Ki wanted to have babies at her age, but have'em she did and she and Vince are as happy as two little peas in a pod. For the life of us, in five years, we can't find a damned thing wrong with the guy. He just sort of fell out of heaven and swiped up my sister and transformed her into a goddess. Trippy. Their girls are 2 and 4.
Last, before me, is Rosie. Rosemary is 45 and is the only real headcase in our family. Rosie has been a fighter from the word go. After a really rocky childhood and adolescence, (involving a lot of beating on her little brother - *cough* can you say "anger management? Hmmm?) she got pregnant when she was 20 and still living at home. She had a little girl, Emily, who died when she was only a few weeks old. That was the last straw on Rosie and she went kind of over the top and down the mountain into nutso land. We got up one morning and found that she was just *gone*. We were pretty frantic for a couple of weeks, and then she called and said she'd gone to California with a friend and didn't know when she'd be back. She came back about 5 years later (we got a few postcards here and there) and was really strung out and nasty looking. She hung around for maybe 2-3 weeks, then we woke up and she was just gone again. She showed up two years after that with a husband named Ed. They've been together for more than 15 years now and have three sons who are 8, 10, and 13. We see them a couple of times a year and they seem happy enough. Rosie's a pretty good mom, but she's still got that look like she's going to snap at any moment, so it makes me kind of nervous to be around them. Ed works as a car salesman and makes a really good living for them. I hope they don't wake up one day and find that she's split again. She loves those kids and thinks the world of Ed, so I'm sure that will keep her around.
So that's it! That's all the Bourland Kids. Thanks for asking and for your interest.
Love,
Sage! |
|  |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
rumorqueen's journal
